Mutilating A Cupcake
by The Carrot
Summary: "What in the world are you doing?" Her voice was incredulous as she stared at the plate and the pile of…something... Really, he supposed, that was a very good question. S&J?


He sat alone at his kitchen table, feet planted firmly on the cold kitchen tile beneath the table. Darkness filled the kitchen, the only source of light being the soft glow from the numbers on the oven and microwave along with the moonlight flooding in through the window.

Sighing heavily, tired eyes scanned the empty room around him, his jacket hung haphazardly on the back of the chair across from him, his cell phone and keys nestled together in the bowl by the door to his back with the other miscellaneous items he had thrown in there over the week.

But what really had kept his attention over the past few hours was the plate directly in front of him, sitting innocently on the place mat that he was sure must have came with the place because he can't, for the life of him, remember buying it…and if he did buy it, then really- what the hell was he thinking? Honestly, eighties floral pattern in a new age kitchen? Reaching out he tried to flatten the upper right hand corner that seemed to be permanently flipped up after the first time he washed it.

Really, if he was honest with himself (he was sometimes), it wasn't the placemats fault he was still awake so late at night… wasn't even the plates fault.

Truthfully it was the cupcake.

The poor innocent cupcake sitting on the plate.

He blamed the cupcake.

As if to show said cupcake that everything was entirely its fault he reached out behind him and grabbed the first knife his hand landed on. Narrowing his eyes with a smirk, he twirled the utensil between his fingers.

If he thought for a moment he supposed he didn't really have anything against cupcakes in general- He loved them actually. Much better then brownies or squares or god forbid…an actual cake. This cupcake was a strange cupcake though. The lady at the store had called it a _surprizake_. 'A surprise cupcake,' she had informed him and- if he titled his head just so… he could see why.

It was a surprise because he didn't actually know what kind of cupcake it was. The paper wrapper around its bottom was solid silver and the top of it was smeared with so much white icing it both made him get cavities and salivate inside his mouth just by looking at it.

Bringing the knife down sharply, he cut the poor thing in half before he could think twice about it and let out an undignified squeak/cheer that he could deny to the end of his days. He acquitted it to the lack of sleep and pissy day he had had before the clock had passed the midnight mark. Mind you, there was no one around to hear the strange sound so he really had no one to deny to that he had made it.

It was chocolate.

His favourite.

A true grin crept onto his face for what seemed to be the first time that week as he poked the blade he was using into the now crushed wrapper to spin the cupcake around so he could cut one half in half again.

Reaching out he popped one of the quarters into his mouth and sunk down a little in his chair, his shirt riding up a bit on the wood against his back. Ignoring it he chewed silently, savouring the taste as his hand twitched idly. Letting the blade fall again he sliced the other half in half like he did to the first one, only this time he kept going. Letting his mind wander, a dangerous past time indeed on a normal day, he started humming a familiar tune under his breath as he continued to cut his cupcakes in halves and more halves of the halves.

He had just gotten to the last verse of _'Happy Birthday to meeeeeee'_ when the light above his head sprung to life. Wincing at the sudden explosion of light he snapped his tired eyes over to the doorway and his wince multiplied a few time over.

"What in the world are you doing?" her voice was incredulous as she stared at the plate and the pile of…. something.

Biting his lower lip the man shrugged pushing a bit of the ruined cake around the plate. A dozen quips ran through his mind, _sulking, pouting, simmering, being bored, avoiding sleep, torturing a bakers prized creation…Celebrating…?_ Okay so not so much that last one. Eyebrows shot up as the woman from the doorway came to stand beside his chair, glancing down at him worriedly. Might as well go for the truth his brain supplied. "I'm… ah…mutilating a cupcake."

…

"I thought the chocolate ones were your favourite?" she raised a fine brow herself.

He merely shrugged. "They are." He wiped the mass of mushed-up cake and icing on his knife onto the plate and set the blade down on the table. "It's just been a long week…month… year… guess I don't really feel like celebrating this time."

"So you're taking out vengeance on a poor innocent cupcake." Her tone was playful as she picked up some stray crumbs and dumped them onto the plate along with the others.

"Oh it's not innocent, it knows what it did." His eyes narrowed, and really, that should have been a warning at how tired he was and how badly he needed sleep that he was fully convinced the cupcake was the reincarnation of an open Pandora's Box. Nothing in the world was that pretty and tasty without having some sort of backlash to it… although he supposed the calories and the sugar rush one experienced when eating it was backlash enough…

The woman shook her head letting her chin sit on her palm, the large sleeve of his button up shirt sliding down her pale arm to rest at the junction of her elbow. He let his eyes roam from the mutilated cupcake to the woman's wrist and followed the curve of her skin down and back up to the barely done up front of his shirt. The way it hung off her lithe shoulders, showing the smooth but vicious shape of her collarbone made him temporarily forget about the sweet mess in front of him in favour of the other one…

Stupidly his brain wondered if she'd let him eat the cupcake off of her….That'd probably get him in the mood to eat it-

-and earn him several black eyes in the process.

Shamelessly he caught her gaze before going back to the cupcake, he'd file that fantasy away for a later date when he wasn't so tired and moody.

"So I can't expect you to come to bed anytime in the next three hours before we have to go to work?" she asked getting back to her feet.

"Doubtful." He smiled weakly up at her and she leaned over and placed a soft kiss to the tip of his nose. "Sorry sweetie."

She just shook her head and ran her fingers through his hair once or twice. "I'll leave you to your mastication and wastefulness of a perfectly good dessert." With that said she tapped his cheek playfully and headed back towards his bedroom, flicking the light off plummeting him back into darkness as she left.

Cocking his head to the side he stared at what was left of the silver paper cup and the few strands of coloured ribbon that he didn't remember removing from his cupcake. Maybe he should go to bed… at least the floor wasn't cold in his bedroom…

Instead he just picked up his knife again and continued to push around the cake mush all the while humming to himself…

'_Happy birthday to meeeee'_

-o-

Not to sure on this one, well actually I'm totally sure on this one… It's my birthday tomorrow and I just got back from Vancouver (jet lag), learned one of my best friends is going out with the jerk-arse of a boyfriend I tired to get her to stay away from and my brothers still angry with me… yay, love Awesome!birthdays. –fist pumps-

I guess this can be read as Sam and Jules… I kind of had Spike in mind at first then it switched to Ed then it reverted back to my favourite blonde sniper… can't seem to stop writing for him.


End file.
